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Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity |  | Author: Shirley P. Glass
Creator: Jean Coppock Staeheli
Publisher: Free Press
Category: Book
List Price: $15.95
Buy Used: $5.98
as of 7/31/2010 13:23 CDT details
You Save: $9.97 (63%)
New (33) Used (29) Collectible (1) from $5.98
Seller: poloxixi
Rating:  85 reviews
Sales Rank: 3021
Media: Paperback
Pages: 448
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.6 x 1.2
ISBN: 0743225503
Dewey Decimal Number: 152
EAN: 9780743225502
ASIN: 0743225503
Publication Date: February 3, 2004
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
You're right to be cautious when you hear these words:
"I'm telling you, we're just friends." Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for "friendships" that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 85
 Not "Just Friends" May 11, 2010
MaryA (Vacaville, CA USA)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is a very good book to make people understand the consequences of emotional affairs. It also helps men understand how women feel when affairs or emotional affairs happen and how to avoid a divorce or walk-out of a spouse. I highly recommend this book to anyone whether or not you are in this situation. Communication and understanding is the key to a long term marriage. This book has definitely conveyed this massage.
Touches on many matters May 1, 2010
Erla S. Erlingsdottir (Austria)
This book covers just about all areas of affairs.
It is written in an approchable style with variation of presentations.
It is informative and seems to be reliable.
The only aspect left out, is how children and communication in families can be affected by affairs. But the book does not promise any covering of this matter.
I am glad I got this book from Amazon.
Many thanks.
Erla
Excellent book. April 24, 2010
A. C. Minor (Hamilton, OH United States)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
As a clinical psychologist with over 30 years of professional experience, I highly recommend this book. Many excellent insights and a great resource for people experiencing this type of trauma. This book is based on years of research and sheds light on why people become unfaithful and how to recover from betrayal.
the only book to start with April 17, 2010
doc reader
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I've read almost every book there is on adultery in the aftermath of learning of my husband's affairs. I was desperate to find something to keep myself from drowning in my shock, rage, unbearable pain, humiliation and utter aloneness. If you haven't been cheated on by your spouse you may be one of those people who thinks that the responsibility is always two sided or that surely I must have known and was just in denial. You are wrong on both counts. Most books however suggest just that. This is the ONLY book that I would have read if I'd read it first. Clearly written, validating, and thorough, the author takes a much more realistic view of what happened and the many reasons why it may have happened. Just knowing that what you are feeling is normal is itself worth the cost of the book, but there is so much more that can give you hope for recovering from the trauma yourself and a realistic approach to deciding if you will stay or leave the relationship, and if you stay, what will need to happen to repair the damage and emerge with a stronger marriage (yes, it is definitely possible - and I didn't believe that one iota at first). Our marriage counselor handed it to us at our first visit and said "this is the only book I recommend" - I had already read it by then, concluded the same thing, and immediately trusted that this was someone I could probably work with. Buy it today! The only area she doesn't spend a lot of time with (understandably as it is a huge topic) is the sexually addicted spouse. I am a physician with more than 25 years of experience and have worked with people addicted to all kinds of substances and when my husband's therapist told him he needed an expert on treating sexual addiction, I blew a gasket and immediately thought it was a total cop-out and way to avoid responsibility for his behaviors. However, I read the books that the new therapist gave my husband, and have really both changed my tune as well as developed a much more complete understanding of addiction in general, and how a behavior can be addicting (and it is repeatedly and clearly stated that the individual is still responsible for his behavior!) If you have a sexually addicted spouse, trying to address the adultery without realizing that he is addicted WILL fail - as I learned the hard way - because it must be treated differently. It was even harder to face that he is an addict than that he had had multiple affairs, but I have so much more understanding of why he behaves in certain ways and why I end up feeling alone so much. And I finally have some real hope that in fact my marriage can heal and be something better than I could have ever thought - and I know that sounds so pollyanna, but I have to say it. The BEST book for the spouse of a sex addict is "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse" by Barbara Steffens and Marsh Means. Read it with "Not Just Friends" first, then read "Addicted to Adultery" by Douglas Weiss. Lastly, "Don't Call it Love" by Patrick Carnes is an excellent introduction to the topic of sexual addiction and will help you decide if your spouse may be an addict. It is grossly under-recognized, even by many therapists, so take things into your own hands and read as much as you need to so you can regain some control and sanity in your life! Remember, knowledge is power and you have no idea how much support there is out there from women who have gone through just what you are - you are not alone in your agony and your feelings are normal and appropriate!
Good, comprehensive book on Affairs March 31, 2010
Atsenaotie (SW FL United States)
This is a very comprehensive book from a highly regarded author on infidelity. It tells how affiars start, why they continue, how to end them, and how to prevent them. Anyone recovering from, in the midst of, or concerned about the possibility of an affair in their marriage will profit from reading this book.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 85
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